December 31st, 2015 at 1:07 pm
Tough Skin. What is that exactly? Well, the dictionary says it means “not easily offended”. Sometimes, people call us to say they are looking for someone that has “tough skin”. Or a candidate will say they have “tough skin”. I often wonder how much someone that says they have tough skin can take before it becomes totally disrespectful, demeaning and ill-mannered.
To me, tough skin could mean someone being able to take someone snapping at them or criticizing their work in a blunt manner. It could also mean that every now and then they can take someone screaming at them under pressure. However, when someone starts cursing at you and calling you names that is no longer part of my “tough skin” definition. You are now offending, demeaning and insolent!
Domestic workers are smart. They do know how to follow orders. Yes, there are those that mess up and are a little slow at understanding their employers’ basic needs. This is in every field. However, I am a firm believer at using your words. If you don’t like what is happening, you tell them in a professional way. The same way you would want to be told. Being able to express yourself verbally is one trait that we all should strive for. Name calling and cursing is what you see on reality TV shows to boost ratings. However, in reality everyone has stress, everyone gets upset just like everyone bleeds and everyone hurts. How you handle stress in the workplace along with improper and insensitive verbiage says a lot about your character.
So, tough skin is for those that are not easily offended by normal hissy fits and a lot of pressure. Tough skin does not mean you allow others to be disrespectful nor inconsiderate. Be mindful, be respectful, and be human.
Do You Have Tough Skin?
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YES…WHEN AN APPLICANT SAY’S THEY HAVE “TOUGH SKIN” IT MEANS THEY UNDERSTAND IT TAKES SOME LEVEL OF MATURITY TO TAKE THE INEVITABLE CRITICISM OF THEIR CLIENTS.
TO A CLIENT IT MEANS SOMETHING ELSE…CAN YOU TAKE WHATEVER I GIVE OUT BECAUSE I’M THE BOSS OF YOU.
THE LAST POSITION I HAD I TOOK A GREAT DEAL OF SCREAMING AND IRRARIONAL BEHAVIOR BEFORE I FINALLY SPOKE UP CALMLY WITH MATURITY AND SAID ” YOU CAN NOT SCREAMA ND YELL AT ME ANYNORE, IT IS ABUSIVE AND COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE”, WORD FOR WORD.
HIS RESPONSE…YOUR FIRED.
WHAT WAS HE YELLING AT ME FOR? THERE WERE NO EMPTY HANGERS IN HIS CLOSET FOR HIM TO REHANG HIS CLOTHES, SOMETHING HE HAD NEVER DONE THE ENTIRE TIME I WORKED FOR HIM, AND PROBABLY NEVER IN HIS LIFE. IRRATIONAL.
SO… GIVING NO DISRESPECT TO THE DOWNTON ABBEY LEVEL OF SERVITUDE, IT IS NO LONGER THE TURN OF THE CENTURY, NO LONGER A MASTERS PRIVLIDGE, AND NO LONGER SOMETHING WE PROFESSIONALS IN THE DOMESTIC FIELD NEED PUT UP WITH.
SO UNTIL WE ORGANIZE OURSELVES ALONG WITH THE AGENTS, TO THE BENEFIT OF THE CLIENT IN THE LONG RUN, WE WILL CONTINUE TO BE ABUSED BY THE MAJORITY OF THE UPPER CLASS WHO NOT ONLY NEED US BUT CAN AFFORD US.
So perfect how you handled yourself, yet so sad you were fired. I am a firm believer that nothing will be able to replace what you felt by standing up for yourself. You the person can be fired, but dignity and respect will always be with you.